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[quote][i]Originally posted by sparkie[/i]
[br]The is one of my particular favourites on the Essex front!  My friend with the kittens is from Romford and she found it hilarious... it does have the same sort of ending to Brian's though!

[blue]A major earthquake measuring 5.8 on the Richter scale hit in the early hours of Monday 22nd September 2003.

Epicentre: Basildon, Essex. Victims were seen wandering around aimlessly muttering "fackin ell".  The earthquake decimated the area causing approximately �30.00 worth of damage. Several priceless collections of mementos from the Balearics and Spanish Costa's were damaged beyond repair. Three areas of historic burnt out cars were disturbed. Many locals were woken well before their giro arrived.

Essex FM News (State Radio Station) reported that hundreds of residents were confused and bewildered, still trying to come to terms with the fact that something interesting had happened in Basildon.

One resident - Tracy Sharon Smith, a 15-year-old mother of 5 said "It was such a shock, my little Chardonnay Mercedes came running into my bedroom crying. My youngest two, Tyler-Morgan and Megan-Storm slept through it all. I was still shaking when I was watching Kilroy the next morning." Apparently though, looting, muggings and car crime did carry on as normal.

The British Red Cross has so far managed to ship 4,000 crates of Sunny Delight to the area to help the stricken locals. Rescue workers are still searching through the rubble and have found large quantities of personal belongings, which include benefit books, jewellery from Elizabeth Duke at Argos and Bone China from Poundland.

This appeal is to raise money for food and clothing, parcels for those unfortunate to be caught up in this disaster.

Clothing is most sought after, items most needed include: Fila or Burberry baseball caps Kappa tracksuit tops (his and hers) Shell suits (female) White sport socks Rockport boots and any other items usually sold in Primark.

Food parcels may be harder to come by, but are needed all the same. Required foodstuffs include Microwave meals, tins of baked beans, ice cream and cans of Colt 45 or Special Brew.

22p buys a biro for filling in the compensation forms, �2.00 buys chips, crisps and blue fizzy drinks for a family of 9, �5.00 will pay for a packet of B&H and a lighter to calm the nerves of those affected.

Please do not send tents for shelter, as the sight of posh housing is unfair on the population or neighbouring areas of Vange, Pitsea and Laindon.

**Breaking news** Rescue workers found a girl in the rubble smothered in claret - 'where are you bleeding from?' they asked - 'ROMFORD' said the girl 'woss zat got to do wiv it?'[/blue]

[/quote]

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T O P I C R E V I E W
Brian	Posted - 13/03/2008 : 23:06:01 Essex girl was in volved in a serious car crash. Medic arrives. MEDIC: It's the medic here, what's your name? ESSEX GIRL: Sharon MEDIC: Is this your car Sharon? ESSEX GIRL : Yes MEDIC: Where you bleeding from? ESSEX GIRL : Romford mate! Brian
11 L A T E S T R E P L I E S (Newest First)
Mark	Posted - 21/03/2008 : 08:38:18 LOL Bev! Mark
Carole R.	Posted - 19/03/2008 : 01:08:11 Nice one, Bev!.. Carole R xx
sparkie	Posted - 19/03/2008 : 01:01:06 The is one of my particular favourites on the Essex front! My friend with the kittens is from Romford and she found it hilarious... it does have the same sort of ending to Brian's though! A major earthquake measuring 5.8 on the Richter scale hit in the early hours of Monday 22nd September 2003. Epicentre: Basildon, Essex. Victims were seen wandering around aimlessly muttering "fackin ell". The earthquake decimated the area causing approximately �30.00 worth of damage. Several priceless collections of mementos from the Balearics and Spanish Costa's were damaged beyond repair. Three areas of historic burnt out cars were disturbed. Many locals were woken well before their giro arrived. Essex FM News (State Radio Station) reported that hundreds of residents were confused and bewildered, still trying to come to terms with the fact that something interesting had happened in Basildon. One resident - Tracy Sharon Smith, a 15-year-old mother of 5 said "It was such a shock, my little Chardonnay Mercedes came running into my bedroom crying. My youngest two, Tyler-Morgan and Megan-Storm slept through it all. I was still shaking when I was watching Kilroy the next morning." Apparently though, looting, muggings and car crime did carry on as normal. The British Red Cross has so far managed to ship 4,000 crates of Sunny Delight to the area to help the stricken locals. Rescue workers are still searching through the rubble and have found large quantities of personal belongings, which include benefit books, jewellery from Elizabeth Duke at Argos and Bone China from Poundland. This appeal is to raise money for food and clothing, parcels for those unfortunate to be caught up in this disaster. Clothing is most sought after, items most needed include: Fila or Burberry baseball caps Kappa tracksuit tops (his and hers) Shell suits (female) White sport socks Rockport boots and any other items usually sold in Primark. Food parcels may be harder to come by, but are needed all the same. Required foodstuffs include Microwave meals, tins of baked beans, ice cream and cans of Colt 45 or Special Brew. 22p buys a biro for filling in the compensation forms, �2.00 buys chips, crisps and blue fizzy drinks for a family of 9, �5.00 will pay for a packet of B&H and a lighter to calm the nerves of those affected. Please do not send tents for shelter, as the sight of posh housing is unfair on the population or neighbouring areas of Vange, Pitsea and Laindon. Breaking news Rescue workers found a girl in the rubble smothered in claret - 'where are you bleeding from?' they asked - 'ROMFORD' said the girl 'woss zat got to do wiv it?'
Sara	Posted - 15/03/2008 : 00:50:52 'Birds Of a Feather' was great Sara x
Lindakron	Posted - 14/03/2008 : 21:12:10 Ah, thanks for the explanation. In Canada, the "Newfies" are the butt of jokes. (Folks from Newfoundland, situated East on the Atlantic.) In the States, they'd be "redneck" jokes. x - Linda - x
Mark	Posted - 14/03/2008 : 20:37:08 quote: Originally posted by Lindakron This must be some kind of regional joke. x - Linda - x It most certainly is Linda!......Essex is my home County (but I don't mind the jokes!) not sure if you had the sitcom 'Birds of a Feather' in Canada, but it was about two Essex girls, Sharon and Tracey (stereotypical names for Essex girls) and their snooty Jewish neighbour Dorian, and was about their exploits while their Husbands were locked up in Prison for Robbery, it was very popular here in Britain and ran for about 10 years. Though to be fair Essex people have a reputation for working hard and playing hard too......and who can blame us! We've a popular Seaside town here too called Southend on Sea, which was once known as 'the Londoners playground' as for many years Family's escaped the grime and poverty of the old East end for a day at the Sea by Train (with a cheap day return ticket!) A couple more Essex girl jokes are "why did the Essex girl laugh on Saturday?............because she was told a Joke on Wednesday!" "how does an Essex girl repair the scuff marks on her white stilettos?...........with tippex!" Funny once, but all a bit tedious now Mark
Lindakron	Posted - 14/03/2008 : 20:12:58 This must be some kind of regional joke. x - Linda - x
Janie	Posted - 14/03/2008 : 19:44:47 Hands up who needs an explanation! Janie x54
Sara	Posted - 14/03/2008 : 00:53:30 LMAO! Sara x
Carole R.	Posted - 14/03/2008 : 00:20:15 Cxx
treking	Posted - 13/03/2008 : 23:09:05 Trek Also known as Carole.

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