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treking
Wasn't Born To Follow
United Kingdom
5376 Posts |
 Posted - 04/07/2007 : 22:28:28
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I really enjoyed my little trip without you know who, it was so nice not being rushed around.
I am considering the Saturday trip, but I will be seeking out Bourbon biscuits if I come. Oh and jammy dodgers.
Trek
We are here for Dusty. |
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Brian
Something Special
United Kingdom
1714 Posts |
Posted - 07/07/2007 : 22:40:01
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I'm feeling a bit 'cream-crackered' tonight, after what was an eventful afternoon at the biscuit factory. It certainly opened my eyes. Trek demolished 6 full packets of bourbons, breaking the tasting record at McVities by 35 minutes She richly deserved her sash saying 'GREEDY GUTS' and the inscribed tankard which she'll display in her trophy cabinet next to the spaces reserved for golf cups..should there possibly be any at some stage 
During the afternoon they had to call security because Pen had to be arrested slightly for causing a disturbance....I will explain :-
She ran through the factory chasing a man carrying a large box of 'Hob nobs' shouting "I need Hob nobs..I need Hob nobs"...poor old Mr Hob the factory foreman was mortified...he hasn't been in such a situation since he stumbled into Liverpool's red light district in 1969 when searching for Cilla's house. 'Step inside love' has brought him out in a sweat ever since. It was a good job I was there to explain we hadn't been let out on 'day release', but were just a fun group enjoying our day out.
Any digestive up...all was sorted out and we came away with a selection tin each marked 'best before you get home'
We laughed, we cried, we dropped crumbs all over the place...but it was FUN
TOOTLE
TAKING THE BISCUIT  |
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treking
Wasn't Born To Follow
United Kingdom
5376 Posts |
Posted - 07/07/2007 : 22:50:06
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Don't you just love biscuit crumbs in the bed--I managed to smuggle out another packet of biscuits and have just eaten them.
It certainly was a fun day--those who didn't come missed a real treat.
I like these factory trips--I think we should investigate how the tea gets into tea bags next.
PG trek
Trek
We are here for Dusty. |
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Carole R.
Higher and Higher
United Kingdom
12681 Posts |
Posted - 07/07/2007 : 22:55:15
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Oh for heavens sake!!.. Is there NOTHING sacred?
Alright I made a fool of myself and got Mr Hob mixed up with Mr. Nob.
...but who's perfect?..
THAT has to be the best day out ever..
Naughty but very nice.
PEN... who is signing up for next series of Celebrity Fat Club..
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treking
Wasn't Born To Follow
United Kingdom
5376 Posts |
Posted - 11/07/2007 : 18:13:21
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I have it on very good authority that the village where Toots lives is opening up 8 gardens next weekend to the public.
Walter is showing his huge marrows which he has been feeding and rubbing with ground down tea bags soaked in beer for a fuller flavour.
Flossie has been nurturing her Delphiniums for the past 4 weeks.
Doris is the greenhouse Queen and is praying the white fly keep away from her tomatoes.
Tom on the other hand is very proud of his onions and marigolds--thats his flowers not his rubber gloves.
I heard Toots (never one to boast) is extremely pleased with his finely clipped topiary bushes. He is charging £1.00 a go, to guess what they resemble.
Fanny by the old gaslight is in charge of refreshments on her lawn by the stone figure of some Greek God.
If you like roses then Bill's is the place to go--he certainly knows his ramblers from his florabundas and has been spraying them with washing up liquid all week to send the green fly into a lather.
And finally the last garden open will be Mavis's who only moved into the village a couple of months ago. She is the youngest at 59 and is abit of a goer, so they say. I'm not sure what her garden is like.
So there we have it --a great weekend outing.
I for one will be there
Trek
We are here for Dusty. |
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Brian
Something Special
United Kingdom
1714 Posts |
Posted - 11/07/2007 : 22:18:12
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It seems that old golf pro knows her onions.
It's uncanny how she realised this weekend was our open day and fete (must be the good time she had before?)
I was just about to let you know about this special event.
As well as the normal events mentioned, our new resident Mavis has joined in and will throw her garden open to the public for the first time. You must come and see her melons, the unusual shaped cucumbers and taste her suet pudding. Her husband Clifford, will demonstrate his rock climbing skills against the north face of the church - without a safety net too.
This years event will cater for everyone - even posh people, and those who think they are. There will be a 'welly-throwing' competition for various age groups, and the prize will be champagne!
Fortunately Sainsbury's in Didcot has it on special offer, so it won't dent the village fund too much. Knitting skills will be demonstrated by the W I - lead by 83 year old Pam who has come out of retirement especially. World War Two will be the theme of the display in the village hall, and will include a genuine parachute which landed here in 1943, various tin helmets, ration books and the letter from Staff Sgt Bud Whatadanger that he sent in 1944 to Helen Toogood denying any knowledge of the baby. You may ask questions of 'the baby' who will be there to defend her mothers honour. 'Buddleia Toogood' will tell all for 50p (which is 45p more than her mother wanted in 1945).
The Carpenters Arms pub will be serving refreshments throughout the day at a modest cost, and for those who don't like a pub atmosphere the W I will have sandwiches, cakes and home made elderberry crush.
Do 'come along' and enjoy the day - gates open 9.30am
RSVP
TOOTLE
COUNTRY VISITS.com |
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treking
Wasn't Born To Follow
United Kingdom
5376 Posts |
Posted - 11/07/2007 : 22:47:34
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even posh people
You don't say--are the Beckhams flying in from LA--that should really draw the crowds
Right its time to dust off the Reliant which hasn't seen sunlight for many a month--due to a leak in the roof its been under cover--so lets hope for a dry weekend.
Trek
We are here for Dusty. |
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Brian
Something Special
United Kingdom
1714 Posts |
Posted - 14/07/2007 : 07:41:24
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The day has arrived!
We have a slight problem as dear old Pam has mislaid her bottom set, so will not be able to talk you though her knitting skills. However the demonstration has been re-named as 'silent knitting' - a 'first' in the country. (The Guiness Book of Records have been informed)
Flossies Fancies have opened early to cater for anyone who needs pastry before 10am when the gates are flung open. The opening ceremony will be performed by Boris Johnson as he's collecting support for his 'Mayor of London' fund.
I've reserved a parking space in Manor Farm for the reliant Trek. This is free, but leave room as the cows are milked at 2pm.
Anyone bringing vegetables for judging will need to register by 11.30.
Finally, try and catch Arnold and his dog Peenuts who will show you how to get out of a West of England sack in less than 5 seconds.
TOOTLE |
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treking
Wasn't Born To Follow
United Kingdom
5376 Posts |
Posted - 14/07/2007 : 09:19:03
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I'm just hoping for a dry day as I don't fancy mopping out the Reliant yet again.
Thanks for the parking space Toots--minding the cows.
I'm bringing some runner beans, which due to all this rain are longer than they have ever been, for the veggie judging. Also a melon from my lean to.
Looking forward to seeing the open gardens especially Mavis's cucumbers--bet they ain't as long as my beans, but I think her melons may well be bigger than mine
Trek
We are here for Dusty. |
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Carole R.
Higher and Higher
United Kingdom
12681 Posts |
Posted - 14/07/2007 : 10:27:47
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Well I arrived at 'The Village Time Forgot' at around 6.30 am, after travelling all night on my Vespa.
Vespa?...Yes, unforunately because of interest rates going sky high, Yours Truly has had to give Jeeves the elbow.
In order to retain my stately pile, cut backs are the order of the day..
Any flower bed up;
I'm here and what a sight for sore eyes it is.
Its like a throwback to the 1940's.
Flossie is fussing round with her tarts.
Polyester Pam is looking for her knitting needles.
..and Walter is 'watering' the plants.
Between you and Me, I haven't actually come here for any plants.
I've given up on them this year, although I may buy a couple of water lillies, if they are in season.
No, I've come to find a Garden Gnome.
You see, I have a 'Snow White and The Seven *Dwarves*' display in my garden at Ivory Towers..its really tasteful, especially at night with the fairy lights and glitter..
...However, One of my Gnomes has gone missing.
I suspect that Jeeves might have run away with 'Dopey'..
He did have a rather suspicious bulge in his overcoat, when I gave him his marching orders.
Anyway, if I can't find 'Dopey' I'll take Walter home, he looks pretty dopey to me.
The sun is out, the sky is blue,there's not a cloud to spoil the view.
Today SHOULD be, fun, fun, fun,......
PEN.
** The gnomes 'double up' as dwarves. |
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Brian
Something Special
United Kingdom
1714 Posts |
Posted - 14/07/2007 : 22:23:42
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What an eventful day
Pen won the contest for the poshest person on the field, Trek won 'the person who looks like a real golfer but isn't' award, and I got second prize for my spring onions I would have got a 'first' but I forgot to take the barcode sticker off the bottom! You see our village awards prizes whether you GROW them or not Harold (the veg judge) is short sighted so we make allowances.
The W I sold out way before 3pm, and had to quickly make more scones.
However - not everything 'went to plan'. We seem to have lost Walter He was sat with his fishing rod by the village pond at 10 past six, but at twenty-past there was no sign of Walter. We searched, we called his name, we played his favourite song over the tanoy ('Gimme dat ding'), but to no avail. Has he been abducted? He was once before you know - way back in '56 just around the same time as the Suez crisis, but then Gwendoline the Welsh dresser was hiding him in her back bedroom - to save him being called up. Did YOU see Walter??
Flossie is beside herself and has already put up a poster in her shop window (they don't call this 'Action Appleford' for nothing you know). Please can you all look in your car boots - he is easily to spot - big grin, rosy cheeks - a slight smell of manure or sometimes rat poison. Wearing check jacket (torn - punk style), brown trousers with matching string belt, yellow shirt and has a red hanky in his top pocket. He may also be wearing a zipped cardigan with three deers on it in beige on a blue background. He could also be carrying a bottle of cider xxx strength.
Thank you
TOOTLE
(LOST SOULS AND AH! SOLES DEPARTMENT) |
Edited by - Brian on 14/07/2007 22:25:55 |
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treking
Wasn't Born To Follow
United Kingdom
5376 Posts |
Posted - 14/07/2007 : 22:30:40
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Pen has whipped Walter away on her Vespa.
I saw them heading off down the road.
Trek
We are here for Dusty. |
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Brian
Something Special
United Kingdom
1714 Posts |
Posted - 15/07/2007 : 16:46:45
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We cannot believe that's true! What would Pen do with Walter?
The 'Bring back Walter' campaign has started in ernest - it's BIG news, second only to the likelihood of us getting a second street light
TOOTLE |
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Carole R.
Higher and Higher
United Kingdom
12681 Posts |
Posted - 15/07/2007 : 23:17:18
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What would Pen do with Walter?
Thats for Me to know...and YOU to find out!
PEN...who's pinched Walter. |
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Brian
Something Special
United Kingdom
1714 Posts |
Posted - 16/07/2007 : 10:53:55
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quote:
Originally posted by Carole R.
What would Pen do with Walter?
Thats for Me to know...and YOU to find out!
PEN...who's pinched Walter.
We really cannot believe it!
The village is shocked....this is the first time Walter's been out of the village since 1958, and even then it was in the back of a police car.
I've questioned the residents to find out what you can do with Walter..and here are the results:-
1. Give him a wash (232 votes)
2. Wash his socks (56 votes)
3. Give him a haircut (97 votes)
4. Ask him to mend your fence (2 votes)
5. Use him to roll balls of knitting (1 vote from Masie)
6. Use him as a scarecrow (223 votes)
7. He's very good at spreading manure, so you could get him going on your garden (10 votes)
8. Give him a great big kiss (4 votes)
9. Get a tractor so he can take you shopping in the cart (26 votes)
10. Wrap him in brown paper and send him C.O.D. (498 VOTES)
"WE WANT WALTER", "WE WANT WALTER", "WE WANT WALTER"
"BRING HIM BACK"
TOOTLE |
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Brian
Something Special
United Kingdom
1714 Posts |
Posted - 17/07/2007 : 12:12:18
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Due to the lack of response to our 'problem', the village has gone all out in the endevour to return Walter to his rightful place. There are posters, badges and carved vegetables with slogans on them - "Bring back Walter", "Don't mess with Walt" and "Cows have feelings" being the most popular. Flossie had to run two cards at last nights whist drive, and also had to reduce her left-over barn cakes yesterday (Walter was always up for day-old pastry).
The problem is SERIOUS...the village light committee even discussed it BEFORE the 'shall we have another light' meeting last night.
We've worn out 'Gimme dat ding' with constant play, and have resorted to playing his second favourite song ('Y Viva Espania') in attempt to bring him home
TOOTLE
VILLAGE VOICE |
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Carole R.
Higher and Higher
United Kingdom
12681 Posts |
Posted - 17/07/2007 : 15:47:55
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Can you believe all this fuss?...
The 'Village Time Forgot' has gone into over-drive.
Its obvious to me that none of those Village People get out much.
Instead of calming them down, Toots has made matters worse by posting Walters so called 'disappearance' on the World Wide Web.
Yes, the legend 'We Want Walter' has been hacked into computers from here, to Bombay, and back again.
What is that man on?...
Any road up:
An Update On Walter:
Unfortunately, Walter ended up being far too tall to stand in as one of Snow Whites Dwarves.
He would have stood out like a sore thumb.(Do sore thumbs stand out?)..
So, Yours Truly put her other cunning plan into action;
I aim to give Walter a 'makeover.'..
Lets face it, he needs one.
So with this gi-normous task in mind,
I have emptied Lord PEN'S wardrobe of 5 navy blue blazers with a badge on the top pocket..
3 of his old School ties.
...and six pairs of multi-coloured boxer shorts.
These all fit Walter like a glove... Lucky, cos, I aint got any gloves.
I sent for six pairs of white flannel strides and a straw boater hat...ALL from Saville Row in London...
TVTF will not recognise Walter when I've finished with him...
I am spoiling him rotten.
'Look out, Look Out, Dapper Walter will soon be about'...Are the watchwords on everyone's lips.
PEN...performing minor miracles...and one or two 'operations'..
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treking
Wasn't Born To Follow
United Kingdom
5376 Posts |
Posted - 17/07/2007 : 17:58:31
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I'm heading to Pen towers for a make over too, if you can work these miracles for old Walter just think what you could do for me..
Tell you what I'll arrive tomorrow in the reliant and have the make over and afterwards I'll return Walter to the village. Is that a good suggestion or not?
Trek
We are here for Dusty. |
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Carole R.
Higher and Higher
United Kingdom
12681 Posts |
Posted - 19/07/2007 : 16:32:36
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Well I'm well and truly knackered...
As if trying to bring Walter up to scratch wasn't enough, Trek has to jump on the bandwagon too..
I had just got Walt(as he's asked me to call him) spick and span when who should show up on my doorstep, but Trek...yes, the one and only Trek!
Between you and me, she was in abit of a state.. She'd just lost at golf to a lady from High Wycombe who had a 'High and Mighty attitude'..so says Trek , who hates losing at anything, even tiddlywinks...
Any caddy up:
Trek wanted me, nay begged me for a makeover.
She said after seeing Walt in all his finery, she was beginning to feel like a reject from Age Concern.
I couldn't help but agree.
So, the cement mixer has been working overtime.The Polyfilla is in place and,
Stella Mc Cartney has left the building...
We are just hanging on for Dr Scholl, who is gonna get her organised with some decent footwear.
Lets face, a pair of wellies don't look good with a Designer dress.
The Village That Time Forgot, will not know WHAT has hit it.
Walt and Trek look like a poor mans Posh And Becks...
The only difference ....is about forty years.
PEN ....who has found yet another vocation.
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Brian
Something Special
United Kingdom
1714 Posts |
Posted - 19/07/2007 : 22:30:46
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Well, well, well, the question has been answered.
Everyone seems to be getting 'make-overs' oop north. Whilst we cannot deny Trek was long overdue for the treatment , we are very concerned about our Walter. Not that he couldn't do with a bit of a brush up here and there we are all wondering if this hasn't lead to him losing his odour...I mean 'charm'. This is part and parcel of his attraction to the opposite sex (and cows) in these parts. We 'use' him for 'scent' when the beagles are not up to their normal sniffing, and also to get rid of the smell after the W I's workout sessions and cooking demonstrations.
Any talcum up...the burning question remains - WHEN IS HE COMING BACK?
TOOTLE |
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Where shall we go next ?
