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treking
Wasn't Born To Follow
United Kingdom
5586 Posts |
 Posted - 22/01/2008 : 17:06:24
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What Toots forgot to mention was that I got chucked out after the 6TH ORDER was uttered, so I went to the cafe and had a very nice sticky bun with Dave--I know how to enjoy myself
Anyhow I'm looking forward to our next trip--I fancy making something.
Trek
Also known as Carole. |
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Brian
Something Special
United Kingdom
1873 Posts |
Posted - 29/01/2008 : 12:13:02
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In response to Trek's idea of 'making something', and with Easter not too far away, next Saturday we have been invited to LE MANOIR AUX QUAT SAISONS the well known restaurant run by Raymond Blanc to make Hot X buns the French way. We will use only 'natural ingredients' (whatever that might be), and we will be able to keep up to 3 dozen or 36 buns to sell to our friends for an astronomical sum as in keeping with 'LE MANOIR'. As the establishment is rather 'posh' please make sure your outfit is pure white and starched - gingham check trousers without turn-ups will be required and rings must be removed. If your not sure where this restaurant is take the exit off junction 9 of the M40 and head for Great Milton (not to be confused with Little Milton who was a blues singer, and didn't cook much 'cept red beans & rice with grits & greens)
See you there at 11am.
TOOTLE GOES POSH |
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Carole R.
Higher and Higher
United Kingdom
13245 Posts |
Posted - 29/01/2008 : 13:54:02
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Well the description 'Pure, white and starched' sounds a little like Yours Truly.. though I do say it myself.
I'm also hot and cross most of the time...but I'm happy to say that I aint got a 'bun in the oven'...
But it looks like I'll have 36 of them soon.
I'm really looking forward to the forthcoming trip Brian...
I love baking, in fact in my book, Fanny Craddock was the next best thing to sliced bread.  which I also bake....by the way.
Will there be a prize for the best buns?
PEN xx
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Lindakron
Sweet Inspiration
Canada
2672 Posts |
Posted - 29/01/2008 : 14:19:36
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I can't resist this upcoming trip, I've got my passport in hand and starch in my shirt. I'm a bit worried though about returning home with fresh hot-cross buns. I don't want to reveal the purpose of the trip or the secrets of le manoir. I intend to be the hot-cross-bun queen of Canada.
Linda |
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treking
Wasn't Born To Follow
United Kingdom
5586 Posts |
Posted - 29/01/2008 : 15:02:05
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I was the Hot Cross Bun Queen of Easter 1968 so I'm raring to go for this little trip.
Yeast at the ready, starched white pinny too.
I've booked a stall to sell my buns at a posh country house Spring fair
Trek
Also known as Carole. |
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Carole R.
Higher and Higher
United Kingdom
13245 Posts |
Posted - 29/01/2008 : 15:05:05
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I've booked a stall to sell my buns at a posh country house Spring fair
How typical is this!.... Always one eye on the main chance...
...and Linda is coming too...How fab is that?..
PEN.... Queen Of Rock Cakes 1974. |
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treking
Wasn't Born To Follow
United Kingdom
5586 Posts |
Posted - 29/01/2008 : 22:38:18
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I'm going to pick Linda up from the airport in the Reliant--how cool is that --I bet she can't wait
Trek
Also known as Carole. |
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Carole R.
Higher and Higher
United Kingdom
13245 Posts |
Posted - 30/01/2008 : 11:26:54
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quote:
Originally posted by treking
I'm going to pick Linda up from the airport in the Reliant--how cool is that --I bet she can't wait
Trek
Also known as Carole.
Linda.... A word to the wise...
THIS is Trek's Robin Reliant:
Say n' more...
Carole R xx |
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Lindakron
Sweet Inspiration
Canada
2672 Posts |
Posted - 30/01/2008 : 13:56:36
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quote:
Originally posted by Carole R.
quote:
Originally posted by treking
I'm going to pick Linda up from the airport in the Reliant--how cool is that --I bet she can't wait
Trek
Also known as Carole.
Linda.... A word to the wise...
THIS is Trek's Robin Reliant:
Say n' more...
Carole R xx
OOOOH!! Now I am really excited! I've only ever seen those on television. Can I drive? No... wait, I'd probably end up on the wrong side of the road.
Oh yeah, this trip is going to be stylin' from beginning to end.
Linda |
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Brian
Something Special
United Kingdom
1873 Posts |
Posted - 30/01/2008 : 17:09:30
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When you arrive at 'Le Manoir' follow the signs which say 'LE KNACKERS YARDE' which is the area reserved for such vehicles. Anyone arriving in a 'Roller', 'Bentley' or 'BMW' should still park at 'Le Fronte'. One more thing - please don't call Raymond 'Ray' or 'Frenchie', or mention 'the way I would do it'..as he is highly strung...and you will be too!
LE TOOT |
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Brian
Something Special
United Kingdom
1873 Posts |
Posted - 09/02/2008 : 09:20:17
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Sorry to take so long in reporting, but I've been busy WASHING UP all week at the restaurant
You see, our 'party' caused havoc in the kitchens and Raymonde wasn't at all pleased. Being French you could say he was p*ssed off.
Pen's buns were soggy, Trek's were hard, and the others got burned. The smoke from these drifted into the dining room, making the smoked haddock losing a Michelin star. Pen's apron got caught in the deep fat fryer - he wasn't pleased as he had his spatchula out at the time. The fat went everywhere, Trek slid from the cabbage right through to the banana & chocolate suprise. Ealing Studios could have made a new 'St Trinians' out of the scene - talk about chaos.
Anyway THEY all left leaving me stood standing there, and I had to clean up all by myself Normally I'm good with a dishcloth and a mop, but the sound of accordian music in the background certainly didn't help
Worst was yet to come - for SOMEONE scratched the paintwork on a Bentley belonging to Lady Snobbygrass which was parked outside...there was a long yellow paint mark all the way down the right-hand side, and her Ladyship was furious. Of course I denied it could have been any one of us, but 'madam' wasn't taken in...so I've got to pop over there now and give her a good 'buff up'.
I'm thinking - the next trip should be to some sort of 'correctional facilty' or at least somewhere where they teach ladies HOW to be ladies. We will get a reputation otherwise.
THE TOUR OFFICE WILL BE CLOSED FOR TWO WEEKS for strategic thinking.
TOOTLE |
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Carole R.
Higher and Higher
United Kingdom
13245 Posts |
Posted - 09/02/2008 : 10:10:21
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Well you know what they say:
"If you can't stand the heat, get outta the kitchen"
Unfortunately I was thrown out of the kitchen....
At the moment I'm licking my wounds(which are choc full of the banana surprise)and wondering where and when it all went so wrong.
Never again, I tell you... NEVER again!...
I would appreciate some PEN pals right now... anyone care to cheer me up?..
Yours hopefully,
Lady Pen Poshpants,
c/o The Gordon Ramsay Correctional facility,
Hells Kitchen,
Somewhere in London.
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dave d
Wishing And Hoping
United Kingdom
786 Posts |
Posted - 09/02/2008 : 10:59:05
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maybe you should have provided your tour party with a flyer on french eating etiquette brian
The French are notorious for their rules and regulations regarding their food. These are dilutions of the rules imposed by Louis XIV on his court and have infiltrated homes and restaurants. Here are some pointers to help you navigate dining etiquette à la Française.
Most French chefs take umbrage if you add condiments to a dish before even tasting it. It is also a grave insult to ask for ketchup. They believe it hides the taste of the meal. If you do ask, the waiter will bring it but don't be surprised by surly service thereafter. This quirk isn't apparent in Asian cultures. Just look at the way some chefs add chilli to their food; 'a little chilli on food' could be sometimes described as 'a little food on chilli'.
If you go to a restaurant, the cutlery is laid out with the bowl of the spoon and the prong of the fork facing upwards. Yet in a French household this is considered impolite, the bowl of the spoons and the prongs of the forks should be facing downwards.
While eating in France, it is always polite to have both of your hands visible. If one or more of your hands are missing, people will assume you're playing with the legs of the ladies/gents next to you. Also when eating at night in a restaurant, always switch your mobile phones off. The French have a clear distinction between work and leisure and if your phone rings, expect disparaging stares.
If you're eating in a French restaurant, it is usual for ladies to sit on the bank/chairs with their backs to the wall and the men with their faces to the ladies and the wall.
You'll find, too, that the French rarely use side plates for their bread; it's perfectly acceptable to place your broken roll on the tablecloth. They have a nifty gadget called a ramasse miettes (crumb collector) specifically for this task. A ramasse miettes is usually a hand-held mini-carpet sweeper for tablecloths but it can also be a blade-like implement. This is increasingly scarce in France as the French waiters hate touching detritus - they'll clear your table so quickly and their hands rarely get in the goo that you've left behind.
If you've finished eating, put your knife and fork on the plate together in the middle. If you intend eating some more, put them one each side of the plate, but still on the plate.
When eating mussels, use an empty mussel shell to use as pincers for the others and put the shells in the lid of the pot that they've come in.
Olive pips are a pest. Put them on the side of your plate and under no circumstances should they be put in the ashtray - the sin of the non-smoker.
In France, it's perfectly acceptable to use toothpicks (cure dents) at the table. Take your spare hand and hold it on your top lip, covering your mouth so others can't see what you are doing, then pick away. Put the pick on you plate, don't drop it on the floor or put it in the ashtray. If there is no plate available, leave it on the table. Don't inspect what you've just extracted from between your molars. It's gross.
Coffee is not commonly drunk after 3 - 4pm in France so don't be surprised if you get funny looks if you ask for one. It's not really a faux pas but useful to know.
In the south of France, the rules are slightly different; you can expect to use the same knife and fork for the starters and the main course. When you have finished one course, place the fork, prongs up, on the left hand side of the plate and then place the blade of your knife in between the prongs.
Also in the south, if you're tossing a salad and some falls out of the bowl, superstition dictates that you will fall pregnant in the next year.
may i suggest a visit to the Duchess Do'rights correctional school of etiquette and elegance for young ladies of notoriety- as the young ladies that regularly accompany you on your tours have a certain notoriety that precedes them , you may well find this a particularly valuable outing.
i am also led to believe that Lady Snobbygrass is a third cousin to the Duchess Do'right so if your buffing techniques fail to impress the lady snobbygrass perhaps a mention of the planned visit to the school of etiquette and elegance may help make amends
brian, your 'touring' posts are hilarious you should get them in print! |
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Brian
Something Special
United Kingdom
1873 Posts |
Posted - 09/02/2008 : 12:32:44
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[quote]Originally posted by Carole R.
Well you know what they say:
"If you can't stand the heat, get outta the kitchen"
I would appreciate some PEN pals right now... anyone care to cheer me up?..
Yours hopefully,
Lady Pen Poshpants,
c/o The Gordon Ramsay Correctional facility,
Hells Kitchen,
Somewhere in London.
Dearest 'Madame Pen',
I couldn't say anything at le time, but I was so impressed with your soggy buns. In France the women do not subsribe to anything less than 'ard.
With this in mind I would like to give you a leetle bit of le private tuition. After seeing your buns I can't wait to see your frogs legs. I'm sure you are a bit of an 'ace' in the kitchen and can whip like a goodun'. I see your over at Ramsey's place - MADAME!...do not be taken in by his sweet talking - I've seen 'is coc-co- van, and believe me it's nothing to write 'ome about. He'll have you boiling sprouts before you can say 'antidishestablismentarisum' with a Lancashire accent.
"How would you like to be,
a little in Seign with me"
RAYMONDE xx |
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treking
Wasn't Born To Follow
United Kingdom
5586 Posts |
Posted - 09/02/2008 : 12:57:18
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I would just like to say that --this Raymonde wouldn't know a good bun if he fell over one.
My buns were not hard but firm to the touch.
Hard is better than soggy any day--oui.
I have discovered also a mark down the side of the Reliant which leads me to believe that a large limo has been on a shunting adventure.
Linda was a witness to this fact and has said the scratch has caused the door to wobble.
Thank you Dave for your--"How to do it the French way"
You may like to come on our next trip--they are always different to say the leastYour building skills could come in handy.
Anyhow my buns all sold out at the posh spring fair and I made £4 .56 after overheads were paid.
Delia la Trek on the come back trail
Also known as Carole. |
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Lindakron
Sweet Inspiration
Canada
2672 Posts |
Posted - 09/02/2008 : 19:52:04
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quote:
Also in the south, if you're tossing a salad and some falls out of the bowl, superstition dictates that you will fall pregnant in the next year.
Well that explains all the buns in the oven... 
First of all, the scratch on Madame Snobbygrass' Bentley was NOT MY FAULT. It was already on her car when I spun out and landed sideways in the parking space. I was merely trying to shake off 20 or so traffic wardens who were so rudely trying to run me off the road. I was a bit distracted by Trek's blood-curdling screams of terror as she white-knuckled the dashboard. Why do Brits think they can drive on any damn side of the road that they please? The point is, though, that I successfully rescued hundreds of French frogs who would soon be rendered legless after a rendez-vous with Raymonde and Carole in the kitchen.
I don't remember the adventures in the kitchen at all. I was knocked unconscious by a flying cabbage. The others know more than I do.
As for the hot cross buns, mine didn't turn out so well. They were deemed a "suspicious package" at the airport and subsequently confiscated. It didn't help that my mug shot was decorating every security checkpoint. I've been added to the FBI terrorist list and for some reason that meant I was given a travel companion to accompany me on the flight. He was a big, angry man with an earpiece and a gun. I tried to be nice to him, after all, he gave me some pretty silver bracelets and anklets. (He didn't realize that they were all heavily chained together. The 'jewelry' rendered me immobile, but I thanked him anyways because I'm sure he meant well.) So I sang to him the whole flight home. Mostly television commercials and radio jingles, you know, the kind that repeat their phone numbers over and over. I hope he gets some help for that problem he has with grinding his teeth.
Linda |
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Brian
Something Special
United Kingdom
1873 Posts |
Posted - 09/02/2008 : 20:03:36
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So we have 2 FBI terrorist suspects in our party?..Linda AND Pen (of course we always knew she was 'suspect' - security guard at DD - say no more!!)
I've just heard from RAYMONDE ..he seems to have drawn a BLANC trying to ignite Pen's affections. I suggested he try rubbing 2 sticks together, but the translation lost something - the French have never been good listeners, and he hit me with a pancake! (4 days too late FROGGY !!)
BATTERED TOOTLE |
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Carole R.
Higher and Higher
United Kingdom
13245 Posts |
Posted - 10/02/2008 : 10:21:20
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To make a short story, long:
I found myself in a phone box, how I got there, God only knows, but I think I was chasing some snails and they were far too fast for me.
Any road up... Due to my Deesaster at Raymondes place Gordon suggested that I should buck up my ideas and get some French Lessons.
...By a masseeve piece of luck this phone box has loads of leetle cards in it... No, they are NOT DSN Networking Cards...They are from people offering their services for French Lessons..Madam Le Knowitall, and Monsieur Le Doneitall are just two of these kind people.
So, before much longer,and with the wind blowing in the direction of the English Channel.I weell be a French Expert...
No-one can accuse me of not giving my all.
Lady PEN .. on her way to being known as Madame Le Wheeplash....Can anyone save her, is the burning question?..
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Brian
Something Special
United Kingdom
1873 Posts |
Posted - 10/02/2008 : 10:29:31
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I suppose you will be calling yourself Paris Hilton...on the cards?
SACHA DISTILLED |
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Brian
Something Special
United Kingdom
1873 Posts |
Posted - 16/02/2008 : 17:58:06
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I've been thinking!
And now I've thunked.
Our recent trips seem to have been fraught with problems..so it's 'back to basics' for the next adventure....WE ARE GOING ON A BIKE RIDE!
Tomorrow we'll meet just off junction 23 of the M6 north of Birmingham, and then will take a ride through the leafy lanes of Staffordshire - sticking to 'B' roads as there are more bushes for those 'unexpected moments'. Make sure you dress for the occasion - I will be wearing my best suit (bespoked?) covered by a yellow safety anorak. Ladies are advised to wear trousers as short skirts could be off-putting to anyone in your slipstream, or locals without glasses
Can you bring your own refreshments, as I don't know what will be open on the route as it's Sunday, and a can of oil to lubricate.
TOOTLE
TOOTLE PEDDLING TOURS 2008
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Where shall we go next ?
